He ran his hand through my hair once again and asked, “Does this feel wrong?”
I answered with a shake of my head no before leaning into his touch, which surprised me.
He released me and circled around. As he stood behind me, he brushed my long hair over my shoulder. Then his hands landed softly on the nape of my neck and began a slow soothing journey across my shoulders and down my arms. He nuzzled into my hair as he worshiped me just with his delicate touches. Never urgent and never aggressive. He was relaying his message to me in an achingly sweet gesture.
Lucas circled back around and pulled me tenderly into his embrace – holding me but barely. He rubbed delicate circles over my back and whispered into my ear, “Does this make you feel good?”
I inhaled the clean masculine scent of him and shocked myself when I nuzzled into the crook of his neck. “Yes,” I whispered. And it did. I had never experienced something that felt so nice and so right. It didn’t make my stomach hurt nor did it cause panic to build. It felt good and pure. I wanted this to be an endless moment. To just live the rest of my days glued in that moment of time.
“This is what love is supposed to feel like. This is how God intended it.” He paused to place a kiss on my temple. “Please stop letting the past rob you of this gift God created for us to share. Please let us have this gift. I want you, Savannah. I want you to let me love you. And I want to be loved by you.” Love was something I had very little understanding, but I knew in that moment I wanted to love him completely. I just didn’t know if I knew how.
The dancing and caressing continued until finally Lucas pulled my face delicately up to his and placed his lips over mine. He whispered against them, “I love you, Savannah.” He paused to clear his husky voice that was filled was so much emotion. “This is what love feels like.” He brushed a faint kiss on the corner of my mouth. “It’s giving… And it’s accepting.” He released me without another word and left the apartment.
And so I stood in the abandoned room and quietly released a few demons that day.